In the past, the Senran Kagura series of games have been brawlers exclusive to the 3DS. But the newest iteration on the PlayStation Vita makes the game play more like Dissidia: Final Fantasy than an old school brawler or its 3DS cousins.

But brawler gameplay is hardly the aspect Senran Kagura is famous for. No, that would be the insane, unbelievable amounts of fan service that the game exhibits.

Yet, even with the large amounts of fan service the 3DS games in the series have, the new Vita title, Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: The Girls' Proof, takes it to a whole new level. Not only can you dress the curvy all-female cast in revealing/fetishy costumes, but you can then send them to fight and watch as their clothes are torn off bit by bit. M'kay!

On top of that, are the game's plethora of special moves and transformations that make sure to showcase every bit of jiggle in addition to every possible underwear shot.

To see some of this (NSFW) fan service, check out the video above.

Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: The Girls' Proof was released in Japan for the PlayStation Vita on February 28, 2013.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

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Sexual fan service is hardly a new aspect of anime. While the most obvious are panty shots and boob bounces, few anime come without a shower scene, beach episode, or hot springs episode where the female characters—and sometimes even the male ones—are shown off in all their near-naked glory.

But occasionally, there comes an anime literally built around fan service—where every scene and every situation is designed to exploit the hyper-sexualized characters. Senran Kagura, based on the 3DS game of the same name, is one of these. And it's possibly the most embarrassing thing I have ever watched. [Note: Portions of this Review are NSFW]

Good – It's Got No Delusions

Few anime beginnings set the tone of their series as well as the first two minutes of Senran Kagura—the show only goes nine seconds before the first piece of fan service is delivered with a mighty showing of jiggle physics. We have a schoolgirl ninja being chased by a squad of female black ninjas—costumes complete with fishnet stockings and boob windows. Over the course of the fight that follows, the schoolgirl strips to her underwear, pulls throwing knives out of her bra (groping herself in the process), stashes a phallic-sized scroll in her ample cleavage, and does everything possible to give the camera the best possible shots of her panties.

I'll say this for Senran Kagura, at least it's honest about what it is. It is happy to show you up front exactly what you are in for.

Good – Not Afraid To Make Fun of Itself

Amidst the sexual pandering, there are a few truly clever moments when the series uses its excessive fan service as a way to satire itself and the expectations of the audience. Perhaps the most telling of these is when, in an early episode, the girls are eating their favorite food: sushi rolls. Their eating of these phallic objects is so unabashed that at one point, the camera even switches to a side view as one of the girls pulls back her hair, extends her tongue, and proceeds to insert it lovingly into her mouth. The punchline is that, moments after in the same scene, their male teacher does the exact same thing with the exact same camera angle.

It's an old sight gag, true, but jokes like this where the creators had fun with the absurdity of their own fan service got a laugh out of me.

Good – Quality Animation

If there is one indisputable good thing to say about Senran Kagura, it is that its animation quality is top notch. There is a strong commitment to detail even amongst flashy effects. Of course, like everything else in the anime, this quality animation is mostly focused on fan service, but the fight scenes are still enjoyable to watch based on aesthetic qualities alone.

Mixed – Fan Service and Nothing But

As an experiment, I decided to count the fan service in Senran Kagura. This experiment lasted only one episode as it took longer to list all the fan service than it did to watch the episode. Here are the results:

Boob Bounces: 49
Strippings: 1
Panty Shots: 19
Breast Gropings: 4
Putting Phallic-like Objects in Mouth: 9
Objects Stored in Cleavage: 2

And that doesn't even mention the wet shirts, changing room scenes, lesbian undertones, transformations, and “facial”-related imagery. Moreover, the fan service never lessens over the series' run. In fact, in some later episodes it is far more prevalent.

If nothing else, remember that this is a series where the characters get more powerful the less clothing they have on—and yes, that is an actual plot point.

Bad – The Shallowest of Plots

The plot of Senran Kaugura is painfully shallow. There are two ninja schools, one for good ninjas and one for evil ninjas. The overarching plot involves the evil ninjas trying to get two powerful and magical ninja scrolls.

Other than that, the story pretty much just follows the everyday training of the good ninja girls, with occasional interruptions by the appearance of one (or several) of the evil ninja girls. And without devolving into spoilers, let me just say that the ending is overly melodramatic and completely nonsensical.

Bad – Generic Characters

The characters, like the plot, are hardly anything you haven't seen before. Each of the main characters falls into a stereotypical anime role: the klutzy-yet-talented hero, the proper lady, the tomboy, the quiet one, and the cute one—and each of the heroes has a similar counterpart on the evil side. They do each have adequately developed backstories—though they border on the hilariously over-tragic like Sargent Calhoun's in Wreck-It Ralph—but the characters are just so generic it is mostly a wasted effort.

Final Thoughts

Make no mistake, fan service bordering on soft-core pornography is the point of Senran Kagura—a fact which is more than a little disturbing when you realize that the characters are 15 to 18-year-old girls. Frankly, I have never been more embarrassed watching something than this. I found myself constantly wondering why anyone would watch this when there is a vast world of actual anime pornography out there—especially in Japan.

However, if fan service is your fetish of choice, you'll no doubt be incredibly happy with Senran Kagura. Just don't expect it to deliver anything more than that.

Senran Kagura aired on Tokyo MX in Japan. It can be watched for free and subititled in English at Funimation.com.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

To contact the author of this post, write to BiggestinJapan@gmail.com or find him on Twitter @BiggestinJapan.

When I picked up Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: The Girls' Proof for my Vita, I was filled with existential dread.

I knew very little about the game itself going in, but after watching the anime based on this game series in preparation for my playthrough, I was more than a little worried. For the most part, sexual fan service in games and anime doesn't bother me. But as the anime was nothing but sexual fan service that gave little regard to plot or anything else, I was certain the game would be similar. And while fan service does indeed permeate every facet of Shinovi Versus, underneath the mountain of fan service, there is a game that's fun to play.

[*Note: Pictures in this post are most definitely NSFW.]

Good – It Plays Well

When it comes down to the gameplay, Shinovi Versus is half Dissidia: Final Fantasy and half Dynasty Warriors. Each level, you slash your way through a couple dozen normal enemies and make your way to the boss (usually another one of the playable characters) and then fight it out in a climactic battle.

As each character has a completely different move set, each battle feels unique—and that's before they start adding in odd combinations of the lesser enemies to up the challenge. Moreover, each move and combo has a different speed and effect; so it takes skill and strategy to find the best way to defeat each of your opponents.

Good – Transformations that Make Sense

Back when I was a kid watching Power Rangers, I always wondered why they didn't morph right away—or better yet pop into the Zords and just stomp the monsters. Shinovi Versus actually uses the gameplay to answer this question.

In your normal, untransformed state, you only have access to about half your moves and combos and all your special moves are locked out. The trick is that transforming gives you a full heal. So a large part of the game's strategy is deciding when to transform. Do you do it as soon as possible and hope to blitz the enemies with your super attacks from the start? Or do you wait as long as possible to get the most out of your full heal while risking battle against a transformed—and thus far more powerful—opponent?

Good – Level Up with Side Stories

Starting off as a level one character, Shinovi Versus isn't exactly an easy game. You will easily be comboed into an infinite juggle your first few tries at the main story. Luckily, there is a separate side story for each character where the battles are easier and experience is plentiful. In less than thirty minutes, you can gain 20 levels and thus unlock many new combos and attacks.

Moreover, these side stories tend to be light-hearted and funny—be it a story of a girl who is tired of being treated by other girls as an attractive boy or a story of a girl wishing her bust size was bigger outside of her transformed form.

Mixed – The God of All Fan Service

Of course, as you may have guessed by that last sentence, fan service does indeed permeate everything in Shinovi Versus. Everything. This includes major plot points, side stories, and pretty much the entire graphical presentation of the game.

In battle, the game has “jiggle physics” that would make Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball blush. And if you are able to complete a full combo on your opponent, you will be treated to a short cutscene of their clothes being torn apart. Repeat this enough times and they will be in nothing but a tattered thong with band-aids over their nipples—if they are not actually completely nude and being censored by carefully placed light streaks. Of course, the characters are then presented in all their clothing-less glory for the post battle conversation scenes.

Outside of battle, you spend time buying costumes and playing dress-up with the ninja girls, getting them into any number of fetishy outfits. Maid outfits, slutty swimsuits, cat ears—they are all ready for purchase.

Bad – Broken Moves, Endless Chains, and Loading Times

The problem that often arises when every character has a completely different move set is that some moves (and thus some characters) are incredibly unbalanced. Some characters can easily stunlock you, others have moves that hit an incredibly large area and thus make dodging impossible.

This would be bad enough, but the AI in the game is more than happy to turn a single hit into an infinite juggle—resulting in your death even if you have a full life bar. Most of these are escapable, but every so often you'll find yourself trapped against a wall with no way to get free. While not game breaking, it is more than a bit frustrating when it happens.

But the worst part about losing isn’t the dying in and of itself—after all, most levels last only 3 to 5 minutes. The worst part is the loading times as it takes a good 15 seconds to load any level or conversation scene. And since you want nothing more than to get right back into the action after dying, that 15-second wait is nearly unbearable.

Final Thoughts

Coming into Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: The Girls' Proof, I was sure it would be nothing but fan service for the sake of fan service with only the most rudimentary gameplay to back it up. Surprisingly, I found the gameplay to be not just decent, but downright enjoyable. Yet, while the gameplay is rather strong, fan service is still the point of this game—the end all, be all of its existence. Frankly, you have to like fan service—or at least be apathetic towards it—to get anything out of this game. So if fan service is indeed your fetish of choice, you will definitely enjoy this game.

Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus: The Girls' Proof was released in Japan for the PlayStation Vita on February 28, 2013.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

To contact the author of this post, write to BiggestinJapan@gmail.com or find him on Twitter @BiggestinJapan.

It's no secret that female armor in games can sometimes be ridiculous and unrealistic. The Repair Her Armor Tumblr recently put together a list of thirteen types of ridiculous female armor you come to expect in MMORPGs—the commentary being less serious than it is for fun.

"Don't take it too seriously," they write. "But I am getting tired of these outfits, though."

While you should visit the site for the full list, here's a smaller selection:

1. The classic Bikini Armor. If you’re lucky you might get an actual shoulder-pad! If the designers even bother doing something more than just a regular bikini, you might get some accessories with stilettos! Exactly what I want in battle. For a extra nice touch; cameltoe.

2. The Lingerie ”Armor”. There’s absolutely nothing that protects you, but it looks really uncomfortable and nice in bed battle! Complete with some feathery, useless shoulder pads!

3. The ever so Stylish Swimsuit! This is usually the armor you get before you get the upgrade Bikini Armor. Bonus points if a choker, thigh-high boots/stockings and a half mask is included!

4. The Abstract Art. Yes, we’re all wondering how the hell that works; how does that thing stay on, how does she walk with those shoes, how on earth is that supposed to protect her and why is half of her naked? All those questions is a part of the costume! They say art say more than thousand words.. or something!

5. The Dominatrix and/or Slave outfit! For those kinky players out there! Complete with leather or latex, fishnets, chains, chokers and whips! Bonus points of the stilettos are sky-high!

6. The Stereotype Shaman or Barbarian! Because she’s clearly so wild and ~exotic~ that she doesn’t need clothes! Best worn with tiny loincloth and underboob-straps!

Clothes I'm forced to wear in the majority of MMORPGs [Repair Her Armor]

Chrom fans, rejoice! The handsomest prince in Ylisse now has a mousepad dedicated entirely to his most admirable… asset.

The mousepad in the picture, made by Deviantartist Toonikun, is one of only two in the world, and you can own one of them. The spare pad will be given away to one person who reblogs this Tumblr post. The winner will be drawn on June 3.

Here's the full (NSFW) mousepad:

Heh. Nice to see that the male butts in Fire Emblem are getting as much attention as the female butts.

(Via Tiny Cartridge)

And here I thought people were joking when they said we're slowly turning everything into a game. Nope. Gamification has a new target, and it's female masturbation.

Now, masturbation on the whole has a stigma. Hairy palms, what have you. But some would say it's especially bad with women given societal pressures to maintain purity. Purity, although an outdated and useless concept, is often seen as incompatible with a sexual woman. The stats from the graph above, taken from the Gamification website—which show that women aren't so into masturbating—are used as evidence that there's a problem with female masturbation. (Here's some more statistics, if you're curious—although, you can assume there's some wiggle room here; not everyone will be honest about this subject) Edit: the X axis on the graph above is as follows: not in the past year, less than 1x a month, once a month, more than 1x a month, less than 1x a week, more than 1x a week, almost daily, daily.

Enter HappyPlayTime, a mobile game that hopes to "rebrand the entire concept of female masturbation through education and light-hearted games." It has what is probably the cutest vagina mascot ever—yes, I know that sounds absurd, but it does.

Friendly, neighborhood vagina. Jesus christ, you'd think this was a joke. But it's not. They're completely serious about tackling the issue. From the game's website:

Sexuality is one of the most basic instincts of human beings. Being comfortable with your own sexual pleasure is a prerequisite to both being able to healthily accept pleasure from others, and pleasing others. How can you exchange pleasure with someone else if you don't understand what your own body likes? That's why masturbation, and learning how to masturbate is such a fundamental life lesson.

Unfortunately for many women, there has been a cultural stigma that blocks access to self-stimulation. HAPPYPLAYTIME is here to eliminate this barrier as much as possible. By talking openly and lightheartedly about female masturbation, we are taking the first step to becoming truly sexually liberated.

Although the developers claim the lighthearted tone is intentional—they hope that by presenting female masturbation through something kind of comical, that they're doing their part to erase some of the taboo around discussing female masturbation. If people laugh at female sexuality, then the taboo is magically gone? Err. I guess it's a step above "denigration."

And cmon. Look at this, which showcases some of the gameplay—what I assume to be segments of the game that teach you how to masturbate. I don't know.

But beyond this, the stigma around female sexuality on the whole is tricky. What can be seen as "normal" amounts of masturbation? As compared to men? To quote game developer Merritt Kopas, the game runs with "the assumption that if women aren't doing the same things as men or as frequently as them, that there's something wrong with them." Lillian, a friend of mine, makes another astute observation: "Sex and masturbation are already gamified. Competitive. Who can be the best at sex who can find the most g sposts. It's not helpful." Couldn't "gals, you can do better!" be seen as shaming, too?

Here's game developer Anna Anthropy chiming on on the game:

there’s this unfortunate idea of “sex positivity” i encounter all the time that essentially just shames people for not having enough sex and pressures them into doing it more. making masturbation into a universal competition is going to achieve only that: people are going to get pressured into using their bodies in the ways that are arbitrarily defined as normative.

Another thing: not all women have vaginas. This fact makes the game exclusionary. Still, it's obvious that the game is well-meaning and there are some issues worth trying to solve here. Schools do a shitty job of teaching anatomy and talking about women's sexuality is difficult. I'm just not sure this specific game is the best approach for that stuff.

That, and...I'm not sure about you, but gamification is just about the last thing I associate with "sexy."

I was sent an email today that told me this was a Game of Thrones rap battle. The description and the video thumbnail had my expectations at rock-bottom. Silly me.

This is as amazing as it is NSFW. The writing, the rapping, the copying of voices, the works.

Also, warning: spoilers ahead if you haven't finished season 3.

"Game of Thrones" Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle [YouTube]

Late last week at Peking University in Beijing, China, men wearing skimpy underwear and carrying inflatable friends streaked the university's north campus and tried to jump into Weiming Lake. Then, university security showed up. That's when all hell broke loose.

Note: This post contains content some readers might find objectionable.

Campus security seized the men, who also were carrying guitars, and wrestled one to the ground.

On the men's chests, protest messages were written in black ink. They also carried a small inflatable raft. The men were ushered away by the police.

"This is performance art," Jie He, one of the protestors, told the Beijing News. The men were graduates of the prestigious Peking University and had hoped to go into the music business—only to find it incredibly difficult due to piracy, which has killed revenues.

The idea was that this "performance art" could raise more awareness about music piracy and copyright protection. Or something.

"Holding an inflatable doll while streaking is eye-catching," added Jie He, who wanted to create a stir online.

This past spring, an artist named Li Binyuan caught the imagination of the internet in China after a series of streaking incidents in Beijing with a blow-up doll as well as with a cross. Perhaps this was the inspiration?

Before this latest streaking, the university apparently got the drop on what was going to go down. That's why campus security was supposedly able to quickly intercept the streakers and their air-filled companions.

Since the men wore underpants that covered their genitals with elephant-shaped cod pieces, the protesters dodged an indecency charge, but did disturb the peace. The blow-up dolls even had their private parts covered with tape.

When asked if they thought jumping into the lake was dangerous, Jie He replied, "We are able to swim, and the blow-up dolls are buoyant and could always be used as life preservers."

北大裸奔男抱充气娃娃搞行为艺术 [荆楚网]

两男子抱充气娃娃北大未名湖畔裸奔 [新京报讯]

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond.

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft.

Somehow, porn managed not to be the first thing folks started putting on the Oculus Rift when the VR simulator headset started going out to developers. Well, wait no longer. Someone is building "the world's first erotic virtual reality adventure game" for it.

Jeroen Van den Bosch and his startup studio are building a game called Wicked Paradise, and they're not using Kickstarter to fund it. Van den Bosch and his team believe they have identified an unfulfilled need in the video gaming industry—that would be good porn games or, hell, anything remotely decent.

"We have hundreds of beautifully crafted shooter games but not a single well designed erotic video game," Van den Bosch, whose past development credits include Backbreaker's mobile version told Road to VR. Van den Bosch said other attempts were "ridiculously bad," with models that "move like rusty robots with faulty servos." The power of the Oculus Rift will help him build something vastly better than that unerotic tripe.

"The non-explicit sex scenes in Mass Effect are much more erotic than current available explicit adult video games," he reasoned. "This is because you care about the characters in Mass Effect. A player will never feel very attracted to a virtual character if he or she doesn’t care. I believe that virtual reality is the perfect medium for an erotic video game because you can make the player feel really connected to your computer characters."

Wicked Paradise will begin as a male heterosexual fantasy game, though Van den Bosch hopes to serve later games that appeal to all genders and sexualities.

"One of the biggest questions I had before we started on this journey was: 'Can a virtual woman inside a virtual world actually make you genuinely horny?'" Van Den Bosch said. The answer, he says, is yes. And why not. People get off to Internet porn (or so I am told), so neither technology nor virtual representations appear to be much of a barrier.

There's more to the interview at the link. While there are no nude pictures, the topic is NSFW, and there's a YouTube video with some racy material in it.

Exclusive: Sneak Peek and Interview — Wicked Paradise, The World’s First Erotic VR Game (video: NSFW) [Road to VR]

There are a good number of enjoyable easter eggs hidden in The Last of Us, but this one takes the grand prize. At one point in the game, Joel will come across a couple of phone numbers for "pest control." But they're not actually numbers for pest control hotlines… they're phone sex hotlines.

When tipster RevsUnlimited sent in this image, I felt almost certain he was joking. After all, they're 555 numbers, which are used for movies and are almost always fake. Aren't they?

But I called the first one anyway. 1-800-555-2545.

"Welcome to 800-666-1234," moaned a woman's voice. "Mmmmmm. We're spread, wet and ready for you right now. Come on baby, let's play!"

DANG. Okay, then! I called the second number. 1-800-555-6784.

"Welcome to America's hottest talk line!" said a bubbly, chipper female voice. "Ladies, to talk to interesting and exciting guys free, press one now! Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you…"

"Pest control" indeed!

I can't say whether or not those numbers were chosen on purpose, and there's always the possibility they were photoshopped into the image, though they look real—we haven't found them for ourselves. (Update: They're definitely real. I found the sign and snapped this picture using my copy of the game.) That is a hell of an easter egg.

And hey, you don't have to take my word for it; call the numbers up top if you like! You know, just for research.

Japanese artist Rokudenashiko has a dream. She wants to make a "pussy boat", like an actual boat (well canoe). Oh, she also wants people to chill out about vaginas, too.

Warning: This article has content some readers might find objectionable.

Rokudenashiko creates dioramas with rather unique terrains: plastic molds of her vagina. Originally, the artist thought it would be funny to decorate molds of her genitalia. Not everyone was so amused. Some, according to the artist, got upset.

There's a long, proud history of vagina motifs in art. However, in Japan, the vagina still is somewhat taboo (it's worth noting that Japan isn't alone in this regards). So, it's easy to see why Rokudenashiko's art would raise eyebrows.

The art's branding revels in taboo, too. Rokudenashiko, whose pen name means "good-for-nothing kid", calls her dioramas "deko-man". "Deko" is short for decoration. "Man" is short for the Japanese word "manko" (まんこ), which means "pussy". It's one that you should definitely not utter in polite company! In Japanese, "vagina" is often discreetly referred to as "asoko" (あそこ), which literally means "over yonder" but translates to "down there".

"Even when a TV station asked me to be on their show," Rokudenashiko recalls, "they wouldn’t dare to let me say "deko-man' because 'man' is from the taboo word manko."

Rokudenashiko explains that her art was inspired about her worries about her own private parts and how the genitalia has unfairly been labeled obscene. "I wanted to make pussy more casual and pop," the artist says. "That's how I came to make a pussy lampshade, a remote-controlled pussy car, a pussy accessory, a pussy smartphone case, and so on." She has even made a couple pussy Gundams and also published a "Deko-Man" comic book (note that here there is also a pun between "man" in "manko" and the Japanese word "manga").

While silicon molds are suitable for Rokudenashiko's dioramas, they don't suit her larger ambitions, like a pussy bed, a pussy door, a pussy car, or even a pussy boat. "I was wondering how I can make it possible, and then I finally found that [a] 3D scanner can make it happen easily," she says. "[A] 3D scanner can be used to make a pussy boat that will go across the ocean!"

Rokudenashiko is crowd-funding her plan to get the necessary tech to make her pussy canoe dreams possible and row her pink vessel across Lake Geneva. Currently, Rokudenashiko has 385,500 yen (US$3,920) out of her 514,800 yen ($5,235) goal. The crowd-funding deadline is September 6, and she plans on writing about the experience on a woman's culture site and as well as cartoons. Those who contribute to her crowd-funding project must live in Japan, but those who contribute can even get some of Rokudenashiko's scanned data. No clue what you'd do with it, but hey, all that matters little in the world of nautical vaginas!

わたしの「まん中」を3Dスキャンして [Campfire]

Photos: ろくでなし子

To contact the author of this post, write to bashcraftATkotaku.com or find him on Twitter @Brian_Ashcraft.

Kotaku East is your slice of Asian internet culture, bringing you the latest talking points from Japan, Korea, China and beyond. Tune in every morning from 4am to 8am.

As a Nintendo game, it's no surprise that Animal Crossing: New Leaf contains some form of control over what you can name your characters. What is surprising, though, is how extensive the list of blocked words is.

The obvious culprits are, well, obvious, from curse words to copyrighted terms, but when alientonx tried to get around them with what for most will be an obscurity, he hit the same wall.

The name he entered for his character was "Santorum".

Now, that's a real name. Most prominently it's the name of Rick Santorum, who a decade ago was a Senator at the centre of a controversy over his comments linking gay sex to pedophilia and bestiality.

As a response to this, a campaign was begun - created by columnist Dan Savage and helped along by The Daily Show's John Stewart - to turn the name into a slang term meaning "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex".

It worked. If you google Santorum now, the top result is the Wikipedia page for the "poop lube" campaign.

I'm kind of impressed this is even a thing in the game. We often think of departments like localisation being the domain of a handful of people, but in Nintendo's case, I like to imagine entire floors of people, furiously scouring the internet for every word in existence, in any language, that could even remotely be linked to a controversy.

And as we can see here, doing a damn good job!

I tried to name a character Santorum and [Reddit, via Tiny Cartridge]

Does Rick Santorum Really Have a Google Problem? [New York Mag]

Oh, yes it did. And Volition made Captain Anderson say a whole bunch more, too. You're gonna want to see and hear this, but not in the office/on public transportation/at daycare/your probation hearing.

Keith David stars, This-is-the-End style, as Keith David, vice president of whatever the fuck it is America has become in Saints Row 4. That's not it's biggest problem, of course; repelling this alien invasion with dubstep and dick-kicks is higher on the day's agenda. To do that, Vice President The Arbiter must rally the nation to the cause. What more appropriate time for this speech than Independence Day?

I rate this somewhat lower than Churchillian but definitely higher than Pullmanian. It's good to hear Barricade loosen up a little, not having to spout Orwellian crap about global forces for good, and giving it to us straight: We have to free the whole fuckin' planet, after all.

To contact the author of this post, write to owen@kotaku.com or find him on Twitter @owengood.

AnimeNEXT is a convention that isn't afraid to be risque, judging from these videos of recent NSFW cosplay burlesque performances.

Mind, this is a more modern interpretation of burlesque—it's provocative show that can feature slapstick humor, skits, striptease acts and more.

Up above we've got footage of Nana Valtiel, who performs her show dressed as a Maya the Siren from Borderlands 2. Valtiel is a part of a group called Cosplay Burlesque, which is a band of performers and cosplayers who do shows with the intention of making fandom a little naughtier.

Why do burlesque of nerdy stuff? "Many cons have reoriented their programming to attract younger attendees, which is all well and good, but they haven't done much for the older crowd," the Cosplay Burlesque website explains.

Valtiel wasn't the only performer at AnimeNEXT, of course. There's Esmerelda May, who also does a Borderlands performance—here she is dressed as Mad Moxxi:

We've also got Allen Ryde, who does a Vega performance to some Enrique Iglesias:

And here's a Sailor Moon performance, also courtesy of Esmerelda May:

OK, so this is pushing my normal beat of "toys" to its most extreme (and NSFW) fringes, but come on. This was too interesting to pass up.

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Game critic Cara Ellison and artist Elizabeth Simins are back on Kotaku with another amusing comic strip about life on the Internet. The particular lifestyle at hand today: haters.

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Custom Maid 3D, the erotic computer game with a cock controller, is grinding out a historic update: Oculus Rift support. VR gaming with things people put their penises in will never be the same!

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What would Pokemon's Professor Oak dream of? Having a complete Pokedex, perhaps? According to jaxamoto, he'd have slightly NSFW dreams of adventure with none other than terrible explorer Ash Ketchum.

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There's been a lot of talk recently about the (unfortunate) boob jiggling in Lightning Returns. Meanwhile, games like Mount Your Friends quietly launch onto Xbox Live Indie Games, initially passing under the radar here at Kotaku.

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One of the most popular memes on the web are the low quality yet highly passionate infographics that argue why some unlikely thing is actually the most amazing thing ever—often with tons of swearing and caps lock.

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